It was November 4, 2005. Jim and I had been married for 3 1/2 months. I had not been feeling quite like myself lately, I had a suspicion that I could be pregnant. After a couple days of not feeling normal I decided to take a pregnancy test. Much to my delight it came back positive! I was so excited I didn’t know what to do. I remember thinking “It’s positive!!! Now what?” First thing I did was call Jim. Of course, He didn’t answer his cell phone since he was doing a clinical for school, so I did our “emergency call”. That is where I call two times in a row if it is an emergency, otherwise I just leave a message and he will call back when he has a chance. Well, I called two times and he did not answer! He was in the middle of a session with a patient (he is a Physical Therapist). I decided to call one more time. So, I called him and that time he answered. He said “Hi.”, then I said “I just took a pregnancy test and it is positive”. He was speechless at first, but in a few seconds he said “Oh wow, praise God!” Then I had to let him get back to his patient after we agreed that I wasn’t to tell anybody until after he got off his clinical.
Later that night we told family and friends the wonderful news. Everyone was excited. There were a few tears of joy, and a couple “mouth drops”. My youngest brother was very excited.
But this was short lived. Just 8 weeks later, Jim and I walked into the ER. I called the doctors hot line earlier in the afternoon because I had a couple symptoms of miscarriage. We had tears in our eyes as the doctor told us that there wasn’t a heartbeat during the ultrasound and that our baby died an estimated two weeks earlier. The doctor left us alone to cry and try to sooth the others tears. The Lord brought to our minds a passage in His word which we read together minutes after the doctor left.
~1 Peter 1:3-9~ Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, obtaining as the outcome of your faith the salvation of your souls.
God used this event in our lives to help us cleave to each other and not our friends or family. Though we did talk to them, it was a good thing to go through in our marriage. It brought us closer together and helped us grow spiritually. How good is God that He would used this for our sanctification (spiritual growth)?
We continue to miss our first little one, who we name Jonathan Michael (after our dads), but God knows what is best for us and this is in His sovereign plan and in knowing that we are comforted.
